Fragile Futures
Sitting at the table with the kindergarteners coloring today I thought of Josh’s story. Josh was 14 when he started “gang banging” and another homie we talked to today was 7 when he started. That’s only a few years older than the sweet faces sitting next to me at the lunch table. While Josh talked I was reminded of how fragile we as humans are. Little Josh watched his step dad shoot up, watched him beat his mother and was kicked out of his house. In search of a family he found himself in a gang, full of resentment and anger, hurt, wounded and left yearning for love, acceptance and a home.
The kindergarteners at Asencion Catholic school, Josh when he was nine, myself and every other kid I know, all have these same needs. The need for love, safety, affection, security, family and a sense of home. And by some random luck I landed in shoes that afforded me the privilege that made having those things a little easier. As a white, middle class woman I was born into a set of advantages that have allowed me to get where I am today. The color of my skin, the place I was born and my parents background provided me with the ability to navigate the system, to receive a quality education, to make choices and demand my rights, to avoid being targeted by law enforcement and to have the resources and support I needed when life got rocky.
The thing is we are all fragile. Josh was so vulnerable when his world was crumbling around him. There was a point where my world was crumbling too. Addiction ran rampant in my family and somedays I wondered if it would tear us apart. But we had the resources to work through it. The money when someone needed to go to rehab, the prescriptions from doctors that we could afford that made those addictions legal, the family and friends to fill in when others couldn’t be there, the access to therapy to help us through it. Dysfunction is not exclusive to those who are less privileged, it just hits harder when there are not the resources and the masks to remedy or simply bandaid the situation.
Josh spent 29 years in prison starting when he was 16. When he was my age he had 22 years left ahead of him. He thought about if he would get to go outside and exercise that day, if he would survive the wrath of the “organizations” or gangs that existed inside the prison. He thought about missing his family. The unfair claim that put him there.
I worry about what graduation will be like. The year I will be spending in El Salvador next year. When and where Ill meet my future husband. What my kids will look like. How my life will play out. But in the last few days I have come to understand how privileged I am to have a future that is unknown and full of possibility. In Boyle Heights, in LA and across the globe so many kids do not have the privilege of wondering what their future will look like. Today another homie said “I never knew if I would make it to 16”. They talk about prison sentences of 10-30 years as if they are somewhat normal. We read a passage from Tattoos on the Heart that talked about homies who commit suicide by walking into enemy territory rather than putting a gun to their head. And we were again reminded of the concerns of so many 14 year olds- “will I die or will I go to jail”.
The fragility of human beings is so much more obvious in this context when rather than so many privileges providing stepping stones to success, they are fighting against the barriers society places in front of them day after day. Schools with less resources, parents who struggle to get good paying jobs, skin color that leave the police all too aware of their actions- they are fragile and have no safety nets. Safety nets become gangs, drugs and violence when the world is not on your side. As I sat with the kindergarteners today I felt both heart broken and hopeful. Heart broken at the reality they are fighting against. Yet hopeful that a school with a high success rate may be their out. Then we returned to Homeboy silkscreen and another homie told us about how some of his family calls him a sell out for leaving the gangs and again I was reminded of how fragile we all are.
We are all grasping for something. The homie at the silk screen and the kids and teachers at Asencion have focused that grasp on their faith. And something about it seems to work.
We are fragile and we need something more. We are searching for meaning, for love and for light. The homies and these young kindergarteners might not be able to find it in the people around them, their circumstances, the barriers they are facing- but so many of them seem to find it in God. Despite all the questions I and so many have- faith gives something to these people. To the homies, the teachers at Asencion, the families who are a part of Delores Mission and work through Christain Base Communities to meet the needs of their community. Their faith drives them and gets them out of bed in the morning. There is a sense of oneness in our need for something more in this community. People know we can not do it alone and there is no attempt to fake that we can. They don’t have the masks to cover it up and fake it so instead they turn to God to hold them. It is the most beautiful, strongest faith I have ever seen and so inspiring amidst such deep suffering.
So many of them don’t have a future of “it will get better” to hold onto like I do on rough days. But they do not deny that they need something, that they are fragile and vulnerable. So instead they place their faith in God- despite all the reasons to believe things WONT improve- they hold onto a hope that it will, that God, like Father G, is in their corner. Is suffering with them, going to immigration marches with them, in the midst of gang violence with them- and will love them unconditionally, protect them and help them find their way to that “it will get better” they have never even been able to dream about.
~Michelle Maddex
Showing posts with label LA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LA. Show all posts
Friday, March 29, 2013
LA: Homeboys
Ryan Selewicz
(names changed)
We had just parked on an industrial side street in East Los Angeles. This was my
group’s next stop after a day working with students at a local Catholic elementary
school. The buildings on each side of the street had beautiful graffiti-esque murals
and the street itself was in desperate need of repaving. We looked for the Homeboy
Industries sign and when we found it, we walked towards the building we knew
must be their silk screen shop.
The Homeboy Industries silk screen shop is part of the non profit organization
founded by Fr. Greg Boyle, S.J. that provides jobs for former gang members.
We were greeted by a man named Anthony. He introduced himself as a Sales
Manager at Homeboy Industries’ silk screening business. He started by telling us his
story.
Anthony was pulled into a gang at the age of seven by his father’s side of the family.
Hearing this after spending a day with children at an elementary school really
brought this to life for me. I struggled to imagine one of the second graders I had
just been playing with out on the blacktop, participating in gang activity. Anthony
told us that had his first child at the age of fifteen and became a heavy drug user.
After spending four years in prison, Anthony realized he needed a change in his life.
His mom, who had met Fr. Greg while he was in prison, referred him to Homeboy
Industries
Anthony told us about how his job acts as a lifeline for him just as it does for all of
his colleagues by keeping them away from the harmful practices and people they
were once associated with, as well as providing a new family and the resources to
live a positive life. He shared with us that many of his former fellow gang members
were not supportive of the fact that he had left the gang to work at Homeboy, but
that it really doesn’t matter anymore. He has a new community.
Since our tour was during normal business hours, the shop was in the middle of
production. Anthony told us they’ve been known to fill an order for 3000 shirts
in half a day. They work together like a family. We made our way over to the silk
screen machines and were so excited to see that the shirts they were working on
were for “SCU Sustainability.” I already knew what Homebody Industries does
and that many organizations at Santa Clara University use them to print shirts, but
meeting the people who do the silk screening, seeing them in action, and hearing
about how this job has made such a difference for them and their families was
really powerful. I always see students wearing these shirts on campus. I’m excited
because now I know that whenever I wear one of my shirts or see somebody else
wearing a shirt from a Search retreat, or other on campus organization, I will
remember the stories from Anthony and the other homies, and how much their jobs
mean to them.
(names changed)
We had just parked on an industrial side street in East Los Angeles. This was my
group’s next stop after a day working with students at a local Catholic elementary
school. The buildings on each side of the street had beautiful graffiti-esque murals
and the street itself was in desperate need of repaving. We looked for the Homeboy
Industries sign and when we found it, we walked towards the building we knew
must be their silk screen shop.
The Homeboy Industries silk screen shop is part of the non profit organization
founded by Fr. Greg Boyle, S.J. that provides jobs for former gang members.
We were greeted by a man named Anthony. He introduced himself as a Sales
Manager at Homeboy Industries’ silk screening business. He started by telling us his
story.
Anthony was pulled into a gang at the age of seven by his father’s side of the family.
Hearing this after spending a day with children at an elementary school really
brought this to life for me. I struggled to imagine one of the second graders I had
just been playing with out on the blacktop, participating in gang activity. Anthony
told us that had his first child at the age of fifteen and became a heavy drug user.
After spending four years in prison, Anthony realized he needed a change in his life.
His mom, who had met Fr. Greg while he was in prison, referred him to Homeboy
Industries
Anthony told us about how his job acts as a lifeline for him just as it does for all of
his colleagues by keeping them away from the harmful practices and people they
were once associated with, as well as providing a new family and the resources to
live a positive life. He shared with us that many of his former fellow gang members
were not supportive of the fact that he had left the gang to work at Homeboy, but
that it really doesn’t matter anymore. He has a new community.
Since our tour was during normal business hours, the shop was in the middle of
production. Anthony told us they’ve been known to fill an order for 3000 shirts
in half a day. They work together like a family. We made our way over to the silk
screen machines and were so excited to see that the shirts they were working on
were for “SCU Sustainability.” I already knew what Homebody Industries does
and that many organizations at Santa Clara University use them to print shirts, but
meeting the people who do the silk screening, seeing them in action, and hearing
about how this job has made such a difference for them and their families was
really powerful. I always see students wearing these shirts on campus. I’m excited
because now I know that whenever I wear one of my shirts or see somebody else
wearing a shirt from a Search retreat, or other on campus organization, I will
remember the stories from Anthony and the other homies, and how much their jobs
mean to them.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
LA, Justice: The Power of Second Chances
LA, Justice: The Power of Second Chances
Many times when someone makes a mistake, we as a society are quick to
disown or to disregard these people after the first mistake. Throughout this first half
of the LA Immersion trip, I have had the privilege to listen to people’s stories about
their fallings and their how they were able to rise up and overcome their past.
The first such story I listened to occurred on Sunday during a tour of the Pico
Gardens housing projects, which are low-income housing units in Boyle Heights. The
man saw our group approaching and shared his past with us. Fr. Greg Boyle of
Homeboy Industries picked him up off the streets and gave him a job at Homeboy.
This job helped him put his life back in order and he eventually had a young son.
That son, he explained, became his reason for living. After he told his story, his
young son ran up and his father picked him up, sharing a tender father-son moment
with our group. At this moment, I was touched because I could see the genuine
dedication this man had to his son and the love his son had for his dad. Especially
considering the past the man had, this represented a moment of triumph and pure,
unbridled joy for him.
The following day, our group had the chance to tour Homeboy Industries.
Our tour guide, Josh, told us about what exactly Homeboy Industries does and
shared with us his history and how he ended up working at Homeboy. Josh lived a
seemingly normal family life until he was 12. He was kicked out of the house upon
his mother getting involved with an abusive boyfriend and later joined a street gang.
At 16, he was witness to a homicide between two gang members and was arrested
and questioned by police. Because he wouldn’t give the identity of the shooter, he
was locked up in jail until he revealed the shooter’s identity. Revealing the shooter’s
identity, according to Josh, would have put his family in danger because in gang
culture, if someone who is arrested “snitches” upon other gangs, the other gangs will
go after the “snitch’s” family. After many failed parole attempts, his mother got in
touch with Fr. Greg, who proceeded to fight for Josh in parole court. Demoralized
after constant failures to receive parole, Josh was overcome with emotion upon
hearing he earned parole with help from Fr. Greg and Homeboy Industries. Upon
being released from prison after 29 years, he was overcome with similar emotion.
Shortly after, Fr. Greg gave him a job at Homeboy and has been working there for
the past 4 years, working his way up from within. The second chance Homeboy has
provided has given Josh a new perspective on life. He said that, “His worst day at
work is also his best”. This spoke volumes with me because through his struggles, he
learned to recognize the value of the “little things” in life. Homeboy was a huge
blessing for him, best indicated by what he told us at the end of the tour. His dream
was that in approximately 4-5 years, he could start his own division of Homeboy
Industries that would give others the opportunity for redemption that he took
advantage of for himself.
That brings me to the overarching theme of these two stories: the power of
second chances. Both the man we encountered on Sunday and Josh had a checkered
past that, without Fr. Greg’s help, would have kept them in a cycle of despair.
Because of the second chances they were afforded, each gathered the strength to
overcome their past, their fears, and to rebuild their lives into something they could
be proud of. The man lives for his son; Josh lives for sharing his stories with others
and seeing other former gang members rebuild their lives.
Society, as a whole, is reluctant to give these people second chances. They
will see them make a mistake and live in fear of seeing them fail to change. This fear
is often reflected in society’s general attitudes towards those in jail. It prefers to lock
them up, afraid that they will come back unreformed, and hurt others. Not 100%
of released criminals will change. That’s a fact of life. But should society let those
select few blind them to the fact that those who are in prison have the potential for
change? Is it just to give those who make a mistake “x” number of chances before
they are disregarded from society forever? As a society, it would be productive to
ask ourselves and reflect upon these questions.
As the man with his son and Josh showed, they can change. They can rebuild their
lives. When we see the results of their efforts and the efforts of people who give
them second chances, like Fr. Greg, it transcends itself into something beautiful
and touching. They’ve unlocked the power of human potential. Despite their past,
they’ve tapped into that potential more effectively than most people ever have.
Bearing witness to that unlocked potential was an amazing privilege. Sometimes all
it takes is a second chance for those with a dark past to rise up and take control of
their lives. That second chance can truly be a powerful thing.
~Joe Sarmiento
Many times when someone makes a mistake, we as a society are quick to
disown or to disregard these people after the first mistake. Throughout this first half
of the LA Immersion trip, I have had the privilege to listen to people’s stories about
their fallings and their how they were able to rise up and overcome their past.
The first such story I listened to occurred on Sunday during a tour of the Pico
Gardens housing projects, which are low-income housing units in Boyle Heights. The
man saw our group approaching and shared his past with us. Fr. Greg Boyle of
Homeboy Industries picked him up off the streets and gave him a job at Homeboy.
This job helped him put his life back in order and he eventually had a young son.
That son, he explained, became his reason for living. After he told his story, his
young son ran up and his father picked him up, sharing a tender father-son moment
with our group. At this moment, I was touched because I could see the genuine
dedication this man had to his son and the love his son had for his dad. Especially
considering the past the man had, this represented a moment of triumph and pure,
unbridled joy for him.
The following day, our group had the chance to tour Homeboy Industries.
Our tour guide, Josh, told us about what exactly Homeboy Industries does and
shared with us his history and how he ended up working at Homeboy. Josh lived a
seemingly normal family life until he was 12. He was kicked out of the house upon
his mother getting involved with an abusive boyfriend and later joined a street gang.
At 16, he was witness to a homicide between two gang members and was arrested
and questioned by police. Because he wouldn’t give the identity of the shooter, he
was locked up in jail until he revealed the shooter’s identity. Revealing the shooter’s
identity, according to Josh, would have put his family in danger because in gang
culture, if someone who is arrested “snitches” upon other gangs, the other gangs will
go after the “snitch’s” family. After many failed parole attempts, his mother got in
touch with Fr. Greg, who proceeded to fight for Josh in parole court. Demoralized
after constant failures to receive parole, Josh was overcome with emotion upon
hearing he earned parole with help from Fr. Greg and Homeboy Industries. Upon
being released from prison after 29 years, he was overcome with similar emotion.
Shortly after, Fr. Greg gave him a job at Homeboy and has been working there for
the past 4 years, working his way up from within. The second chance Homeboy has
provided has given Josh a new perspective on life. He said that, “His worst day at
work is also his best”. This spoke volumes with me because through his struggles, he
learned to recognize the value of the “little things” in life. Homeboy was a huge
blessing for him, best indicated by what he told us at the end of the tour. His dream
was that in approximately 4-5 years, he could start his own division of Homeboy
Industries that would give others the opportunity for redemption that he took
advantage of for himself.
That brings me to the overarching theme of these two stories: the power of
second chances. Both the man we encountered on Sunday and Josh had a checkered
past that, without Fr. Greg’s help, would have kept them in a cycle of despair.
Because of the second chances they were afforded, each gathered the strength to
overcome their past, their fears, and to rebuild their lives into something they could
be proud of. The man lives for his son; Josh lives for sharing his stories with others
and seeing other former gang members rebuild their lives.
Society, as a whole, is reluctant to give these people second chances. They
will see them make a mistake and live in fear of seeing them fail to change. This fear
is often reflected in society’s general attitudes towards those in jail. It prefers to lock
them up, afraid that they will come back unreformed, and hurt others. Not 100%
of released criminals will change. That’s a fact of life. But should society let those
select few blind them to the fact that those who are in prison have the potential for
change? Is it just to give those who make a mistake “x” number of chances before
they are disregarded from society forever? As a society, it would be productive to
ask ourselves and reflect upon these questions.
As the man with his son and Josh showed, they can change. They can rebuild their
lives. When we see the results of their efforts and the efforts of people who give
them second chances, like Fr. Greg, it transcends itself into something beautiful
and touching. They’ve unlocked the power of human potential. Despite their past,
they’ve tapped into that potential more effectively than most people ever have.
Bearing witness to that unlocked potential was an amazing privilege. Sometimes all
it takes is a second chance for those with a dark past to rise up and take control of
their lives. That second chance can truly be a powerful thing.
~Joe Sarmiento
Monday, March 25, 2013
LA, Simplicity: What is it to be simple?
LA: Simplicity
What is it to be simple?
We concluded our first day of Immersion enjoying authentic Mexican food on
park benches where families and friends had gathered to celebrate a young girl’s
birthday (denoted by the lovely pink and white balloons) and where children
enjoyed sliding down a gravel slope using a flattened cardboard box. Each and
every one of us marveled at the beauty, the innocence, and the simplicity of the
children as their squeals of happiness were heard. It even inspired one of our
very own Immersion participants to roll down the grassy hillJ After satisfying our
tummy’s growls and enjoying each other’s company, we made our way back to
Delores Mission and were met with a mesmerizing sight. There, in front of us,
was one of the most beautiful sunsets we had ever seen: purple, pink, blue and
pale green against the skyscrapers of Los Angeles. We all just stood there, in
awe, soaking it in, and being present to the sunset, each other, and our own
beings. Had we had our phones, our technology, we would not have been
present, we would not have really seen the sunset. Instead, we would be
overcome with the need to share it with the world, to post a picture on facebook,
to tweet, to instagram. And even then we wouldn’t be satisfied; we would
constantly pull out our phones to see how many likes, how many comments, our
posts received. Enjoying a day of simplicity, a moment even, really enabled us to
be present and to recognize the small pleasures, the small joys. We were not
focused in capturing the sunset with our phone cameras, instead we saw it with
our very own eyes, and captured it in our hearts. While photos may get deleted
or whither in time, the picture that each one of us took with our eyes and hearts
will forever remain. Being simple and embracing simplicity allowed us to really
enjoy the pastel sunset, the colorful balloons, and the delight of the children. Our
dinner, our environment was very humble, yet it was the simplicity that enabled
us to enjoy our evening together as community, as family.
~Alyna Merali
What is it to be simple?
We concluded our first day of Immersion enjoying authentic Mexican food on
park benches where families and friends had gathered to celebrate a young girl’s
birthday (denoted by the lovely pink and white balloons) and where children
enjoyed sliding down a gravel slope using a flattened cardboard box. Each and
every one of us marveled at the beauty, the innocence, and the simplicity of the
children as their squeals of happiness were heard. It even inspired one of our
very own Immersion participants to roll down the grassy hillJ After satisfying our
tummy’s growls and enjoying each other’s company, we made our way back to
Delores Mission and were met with a mesmerizing sight. There, in front of us,
was one of the most beautiful sunsets we had ever seen: purple, pink, blue and
pale green against the skyscrapers of Los Angeles. We all just stood there, in
awe, soaking it in, and being present to the sunset, each other, and our own
beings. Had we had our phones, our technology, we would not have been
present, we would not have really seen the sunset. Instead, we would be
overcome with the need to share it with the world, to post a picture on facebook,
to tweet, to instagram. And even then we wouldn’t be satisfied; we would
constantly pull out our phones to see how many likes, how many comments, our
posts received. Enjoying a day of simplicity, a moment even, really enabled us to
be present and to recognize the small pleasures, the small joys. We were not
focused in capturing the sunset with our phone cameras, instead we saw it with
our very own eyes, and captured it in our hearts. While photos may get deleted
or whither in time, the picture that each one of us took with our eyes and hearts
will forever remain. Being simple and embracing simplicity allowed us to really
enjoy the pastel sunset, the colorful balloons, and the delight of the children. Our
dinner, our environment was very humble, yet it was the simplicity that enabled
us to enjoy our evening together as community, as family.
~Alyna Merali
LA, Community: Juntos
LA: Community
Juntos
Yesterday I learned a new Spanish word. Juntos. It means together. Together we
strolled down the stairs and started the day. Together we learned, we listened,
we breathed in the day. It is only day 2, our first full day, but I can already tell that
we will carry juntos with us throughout this week. For me, the most significant
aspect about community is each individual’s perspective on its meaning. For
a while now, we have been forming a community as a group of Santa Clara
students. The community we have started to build is as significant as the
community we are engaging with. As we value each other’s experiences, we also
get to feel the hurt, the small victories, the simple joys in life, and the hopeful light
that is in Boyle Heights. Together we signed up for this immersion trip…but we
may not necessarily have come from the same backgrounds and motivations. No
matter, the East LA community has brought us together.
Juntos. We heard juntos in the Dolores Mission Church’s youth group reading
of the gospel. We felt community in the tour of the Projects in Pico Gardens.
We met juntos with a short and spontaneous meeting with a man who used to
be involved in a gang and his family. We tasted juntos in the delicious Mexican
cuisine that the Underwings after school program’s fundraiser prepared so
freshly. It reminded me of family in Manila during Christmas when everybody
comes together in celebration of love, with the spirit of faith, and the truest sense
of family. It is only a week, and so I am a little afraid that no matter how much
we serve, how much we listen, how much we are present…it will not be enough.
At the end of a week, we will return to our own communities. I think the beauty
of our time here in Boyle Heights is its sincere openness, want, and hope for a
strong community. The trajectory to how we have arrived to today is so raw. So
worthy of our time. So giving. So full. So juntos.
~Cheska Concepcion
Juntos
Yesterday I learned a new Spanish word. Juntos. It means together. Together we
strolled down the stairs and started the day. Together we learned, we listened,
we breathed in the day. It is only day 2, our first full day, but I can already tell that
we will carry juntos with us throughout this week. For me, the most significant
aspect about community is each individual’s perspective on its meaning. For
a while now, we have been forming a community as a group of Santa Clara
students. The community we have started to build is as significant as the
community we are engaging with. As we value each other’s experiences, we also
get to feel the hurt, the small victories, the simple joys in life, and the hopeful light
that is in Boyle Heights. Together we signed up for this immersion trip…but we
may not necessarily have come from the same backgrounds and motivations. No
matter, the East LA community has brought us together.
Juntos. We heard juntos in the Dolores Mission Church’s youth group reading
of the gospel. We felt community in the tour of the Projects in Pico Gardens.
We met juntos with a short and spontaneous meeting with a man who used to
be involved in a gang and his family. We tasted juntos in the delicious Mexican
cuisine that the Underwings after school program’s fundraiser prepared so
freshly. It reminded me of family in Manila during Christmas when everybody
comes together in celebration of love, with the spirit of faith, and the truest sense
of family. It is only a week, and so I am a little afraid that no matter how much
we serve, how much we listen, how much we are present…it will not be enough.
At the end of a week, we will return to our own communities. I think the beauty
of our time here in Boyle Heights is its sincere openness, want, and hope for a
strong community. The trajectory to how we have arrived to today is so raw. So
worthy of our time. So giving. So full. So juntos.
~Cheska Concepcion
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